質問

Creative Writing Summer - My First Story

Vee T Vee T (2) 2013/07/01に投稿

I have traveled to Greece. There came an unforgettable and horror story last night. After having a dainty dinner at a restaurant, I heard a sonorous voice behind me. I turned back and could not believe what I was seeing. There was an exotic monster standing on the floor staring at me. It looked like a hybrid of a penguin in the top half and a bear in the low half. I felt so creepy and got cold feet. I winked my eyes and shouted for help. Suddenly, I awoke in panic. Then I realized that was just a nightmare and sighed with relief.

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2

Here are my suggestions:

I am traveling in Greece. It was here that I came to experience an unforgettable and horrific story. After having a dainty dinner at a restaurant last night, I went back to my room. Suddenly, I heard a sonorous voice behind me. I turned around but could not believe what I was seeing. There was an exotic looking monster standing on the floor staring right at me. It looked like a hybrid of a penguin in the upper half and a bear in the lower half. I was so scared I got cold feet. I blinked my eyes and shouted for help. At that moment, I awoke in a panic. Then I realized that it was just a nightmare and sighed with relief.

Words like 'dainty' and 'sonorous' aren't very common, but I think it makes your style nice :)

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コメント

Mojtaba Allahverdy Mojtaba Allahverdy (0) 2013/07/02に投稿

Thanks, Nate

Vee T Vee T (2) 2013/07/02に投稿

Hello Nate. I am grateful for your help. Take care, Sunny

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